Tactics on How to Avoid Drinking and Still Look Cool

I went through some of my old posts and realized that I never put up some of my tactics for getting out of potential drinking situations while out. I’ve been meaning to so here are some of the things I have learned work.

First off, the worst way to avoid drinking, especially if you decide to quit drinking, is to tell people who you used to drink with that you have quit drinking. Right off the bat they will try with all their might to get you to drink. Normally in these situations it’s best to not tell them or not hang out with them. If you do have to hang out with them then hopefully some of these tactics might work for you:

  • gin-tonicThe Fake and Drink: The best way to get people off your back about not drinking is to make them think you are drinking. So how you do this in theory is simple, always have a drink in your hand. My favorite in bar/club situations is the standard glass of ice water. It’s cheap (most of the time free) and easily dressed up to pass as a convincing gin and tonic and vodka tonic. Simply add a wedge of lime and add one of those stirring straws and you’re in business. The difficult part in using this tactic is that you can never order drinks when around your friends since they will see you asking for water. The other difficult part is when your friends want to buy you drinks. So a good way around this is to run away when you can and grab your faux drink when they aren’t looking. This way since you didn’t buy them a drink they won’t be so inclined to buy you one.
  • die-from-drinkingOutright Lie: If you have to tell someone that you aren’t drinking the inevitable follow up question you will always get is “why?” or “how come?” At first I would get into my long explanation about how I’m doing this as a personal quest, to save money, yadda yadda. However, most of the time the answer is too long so they stop listening and tell you to “stop being a pussy” (no offense to the ladies, that’s a line I’ve gotten numerous times) and then try make you drink shot they just handed you. Since they won’t listen to sound reason and logic, the next best option is to just outright lie to them so they will get off your back. Normally, if you say “my doctor told me I need to stop drinking” that should be good since your friends hopefully care more about your health than your drinking. However, sometimes that’s not good enough so embellish with “I went to the doctor last week and he said I had cirrhosis of the liver.” If he or she doesn’t know what that means follow up with “It means if I drink I’ll die because my liver stopped working.” If you play your cards right, you might get a free cranberry juice out of it. For friends who aren’t health conscious you can always lie and say “I got a DUI” and most people know how much that sucks and wouldn’t want you to go through the potential of getting another one.
  • drunk-peopleAct Drunk: Here’s one that can work granted your acting skills are spot on. If combined with the “Fake and Drink” mentioned above it can be a powerful combo to silence any potential drink pushers. It’s simple, act really drunk and obnoxious so instead of people making you drink they end up trying to take away your drink (or in my case my ice water). Just pile on the slobbering, slurred speech, and craziness…if your friends are already pretty drunk then you have to up the intensity so they start realizing how drunk you are. As an added bonus if you you really want to exit the drinking situation act drunk enough so the bouncers kick you out. If you drove that night head back to the car and crack open that book, dvd, or new Gameboy DS game you’ve been dying to play. When your friends come back…you are all sobered up!

Ok, so those are just some of the general strategies that can be used. I’m sure there are more, but I find those to be the most effective. If anyone knows any others, let me know…

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *