Crowdsourced Assassination

Day 7 of 30 of Writing Challenge

I was talking with my roommate today about how upset I still am about the state of software patent laws. Specifically I’m pissed that companies like Intellectual Ventures even exist. Their entire business relies on having more money and more patents than the people they shake down. They don’t succeed by innovating or producing a great product. They win by by having more money than the people they sue, who don’t want to undergo a costly legal battle.

I started thinking of potential ways to combat an Intellectual Ventures type business. One way requires I be rich. If I was rich (like a bazillionaire) I would hire a massive force of offshore writers. I then would train them on how to write software patent applications and then I would proceed to generate as many broad inane patents as I could. This way I can cheaply amass even more ridiculous patents than they have. Then I would sue them into oblivion.

The problem with this idea is we’d just end up making a bunch of lawyers rich and we still aren’t contributing anything positive into the business ecosystem. That’s where I came up with both a better solution and maybe even a brilliant tech startup company.

Since I can’t stand software patent litigation why not stop it before it happens? Instead of reacting to lawsuits what if we could prevent them from happening in the first place? The solution is to kill anyone who brings a software patent claim to court.

Yes, this is extreme, but it will be effective. Just like Intellectual Ventures is a mafia type organization we will fight back with mafia type tactics. If we execute everyone who tries to sue another company for a software patent violation at the end of the day potential plaintiffs will sit back and think “hmmm, while the money could be good, it’s no good to me if I’m dead. Maybe I should go do something productive now.”

That’s the solution, but there some problems. How do we find people to kill these software patent plaintiffs and how do we raise enough money to make it worth their while to do so? Also how does everyone avoid going to jail? The solution is the next VC fundabale idea, KillStarter.

KillStarter is the KickStarter for raising money for assassinations. On the site people post people they want dead, why they want them dead, and other evidence supporting any wrong doing this person has committed. All assassination projects will be curated. We would only want truly bad people killed.

After a project is approved people can start anonymously funding it through BitCoins. The site only accept BitCoins so you better stock up on lots of them. BitCoins are used since we want anyone who contributes to remain anonymous as most civilized governments don’t take kindly to assassination (unless you are a terrorist, then it’s ok). The funding is used as the bounty or reward to the successful assassin. To claim the reward any would-be assassin has to download the KillStarter location based app. After a successful assassination they have to take a picture or video of the body using the app. Based on the time, geo-location, photo, and 3rd party new sources we should be able to confirm a successful hit. After that the BitCoin reward is transferred that individual.

We’re looking to raise 5 million dollars bitcoins.

My solution to the software patent issue boils down to good old fashioned murder. This post is whack. However, you have to admit KillStarter does have some good ideas in there. Maybe I can get this built in Afghanistan.

Day 1 of 30 of No Internet News Challenge

First day of no news. I can feel myself becoming more ignorant as I type.

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