Why I Hate Food Trucks

This was an old post I had wrote in January. I still hate food trucks, but since I hear less about them my hate as dissipated some what. Enjoy!

Along with my hate for Twitter I’m gonna add Food Trucks which seem to be all the rage these days to my hate list.

“Buy why? They are so tasty and gourmet. It’s such a great idea!”

Shut up. Here’s an idea, why don’t we take a truck and sell frozen treats from it? We’ll target the younger crowd, 12 years and under, and to entice them to buy we’ll play music as we drive slowly in their neighborhoods. Sound like the next new hot food truck idea? I’ll call it an Ice Cream Truck. I’ll be rich.

Here’s my beef with these food trucks. People act like this thing is the “best thing eva’!” when in fact it isn’t novel or interesting at all.

Here’s why I hate food trucks…listed in the sequence of actions I need to perform in order to dine at one.

I have to follow twitter or their website to find out where they are

When I’m hungry and want something to eat I don’t want to go hunting for my favorite restaurant. It’s fine the first time I’m going to a new restaurant, but if these mobile gourmet wagons keeps moving around that means I spend more time going hungry than eating. And plus I hate twitter.

Parking is annoying

Unless they are parking in an empty Walmart parking lot, chances are the food truck is going to be parked on a side street where finding parking spaces will take time and could most likely cost money. So wait, I get to spend time looking for parking and pay for parking too? It’s even more annoying if this food truck is popular. No thanks.

I have to wait standing in line

So finally after finding parking I now go to find a billion other fools in line waiting to taste the scrumpdilliumpsious food that awaits them. Can’t I just take a number and come back? Sorry, not at the food truck. Can I sit while await? Sure there’s plenty of room on the curb. This experience awesome!!

Wait how much is this going to cost me

After all that waiting I find the prices here more expensive than most sit down restaurants. They don’t even have the same overhead as a restaurant…granted they have gas to pay, but shouldn’t it be cheaper?

Where do I eat?

Food trucks don’t bring mobile eating stations so that means when I dine at one I dine standing up. While eating while standing is probably healthy for you, I prefer dining while sitting…in a chair…preferably on a table. That is unless the chairs are electrified and are coated with glass shards.

The food tastes like it was made in someone’s vehicle

Maybe I’m biased since I don’t cook, but wouldn’t you rather eat food that has been prepared in a full kitchen than a cramped up truck kitchenette? If I were the cook in one of these things I know I’d be all grumpy having to work in such tight spaces. For sure I wouldn’t be cooking your food with love. OOPS i just sneezed! That sneeze has to be bouncing all over that truck and landing in your gourmet food.

Conclusion

There you have it. I hate food trucks since I have to spend time tracking them down, waiting in line, paying more money. all while standing and eating so-so food. So what’s the allure? Oh, they put kimchi in my tacos? Cool. I  can do that for a fraction of the cost. Feast your eyes below:

Anyway, I feel bad for the ice cream truck operators and the mexican roach coach operators. They’ve been doing this for years and it hasn’t been as crazy till someone made these trucks magically more gourmet (ie just making the truck look a little more presentable and marketable).

People, enjoy this fad while it lasts. I’m sitting this one out. Enjoy your Kimchi tacos. I know I will.

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