I just heard from a friend that LA based radio station 97.1 (aka Free FM) will be changing formats from talk radio to what LA needs even more … another Top 40′s station!  I’m so EXCITED.  This way instead of hearing Britney Spears sing “Womanizer” 5000 times a day on 4 other stations I now can listen to it 5001 times!  HOORAY!  Womanizer Womanizer wo-wo-womanizer…womanizer…ooooh oooooooo yeah!

Sarcasm aside this is the stupidest move EVER.  To confirm that this move was actually true I did a little google action and found this blog piece by the LA Times.  In it they confirmed that

Beginning Friday at 5 p.m., boosters of urban-skewing artists such as Beyoncé, Pink and Britney Spears will have another top 40/”CHR” (contemporary hit radio) station to sing along to in their cars, as L.A.’s only “all-talk” commercial FM station now appears to be all talked out.

And what will they call this station?  They are going to call it AMP Radio.  Because young people are AMPED to hear more crap.  97.1 was my one sanctuary away from Beyonce, Rihanna (RIP), and some girl name Miley, while stuck or driving through traffic.   One of my favorite shows on 97.1 is Frosty, Heidi and Frank… a very witty and hilarious talk show that actually talks about things that are interesting.  I won’t be able to hear them on the radio with this new format thanks to the geniuses at CBS Radio.  That show as well as the Tom Leykis show all had very decent ratings and have been successful for the past few years, so why would they pull the plug on the format?

Listeners of KLSX were probably too old.

Ok, I know I’m getting on in my years, but I don’t feel too old.  So there has to be more.

AMP Radio originally bowed early last year as an online/HD2 station affiliated with KCBS-FM in L.A.  Apparently, the test run was successful enough to convince CBS radio executives that young, texting-and-Twittering teens — the ones who spend money at malls while listening to music via their cellphones — just can’t get enough of artists such as Kanye West and T.I. This is despite the fact that there is plenty of competition in the space — see KPWR (105.9), KIIS (102.7) and KDAY (93.5) — all of which mine similar musical territory in the same market.

What money are these kids spending at the mall?  Last time I checked we are in a recession and if these kids are living in LA chances are their parents had their house FORECLOSED.  Maybe I missed the part in the Obama Stimulus Package…the “if your kids use twitter we’ll give them $1000″ part.  The worst part is why in the world would I listen to AMP Radio when there are at least 3 other stations which all play Kanye and T.I. non-stop?  How do I know this?  It’s because I freaking hear that “Love lock down” song (Kanye) and that other “You can have whatever you like …” song (T.I.) ALL THE TIME.  It’s legalized brainwashing.  I don’t need more and I sure as hell don’t go run out and buy shit when I hear Akon.  I read somewhere that to excel and succeed in business what you want to do is find a niche (something that other people don’t do) and do that well…something like saying having a successful talk radio format amid a gaggle of Top 40 stations.  But apparently CBS Radio execs know something that successful entrepreneurs like Sam Walton (Walmart), Steve Jobs (Apple), Henry Ford (Ford) didn’t and decided just to copy and jump in a crowded market.

Oh but it gets better…so let’s listen to the wisdom of CBS Radio:

“Creating a successful radio station not only means focusing on what you hear over the air — it’s that, yet it’s so much more and as evidenced by what we’re announcing today, the possibilities are endless,” said Kevin Weatherly, senior vice president of programming for CBS Radio, in a news release announcing the format change today.

Am I taking crazy pills again??  WTF is Kevin Weatherly talking about?  Radio I believe is a format that transmits something called “sound waves” which travel through the air, enter through your ear, which send a signal to your brain, all of which we call “listening.”  If you aren’t focusing on what people hear what “endless possibilities” can your new Top 40 AMP Radio station take advantage of?  Will it drive my car for me?  Shine my shoes?  The only possibility I can imagine is the following:

1. Lady Ga Ga song
2. Rihanna song
3. Miley Cyrus drivel
4. Lady Ga Ga featuring Rihanna with guest star Akon song
5. Akon song
6. Repeat steps 1-5 for 8 cycles

Here’s my free advice to you Kevin Weatherly, senior vice president of CBS Radio programming…why don’t you keep the talk show format, but instead focus on shows that will attract these young listeners you so want?  Innovate on the show format to bring in the new audience.  That sounds exciting.  Here I’ll give you topics this hypothetical show could cover

• Who has cooler sunglasses T.I. or Kanye West?
• Cool ways to use twitter to follow what Britney Spears is doing all the time
• Which mall has the coolest Abercrombie store
• and much much more

According to their research this show would be a megabomb hit.  You can thank me Kevin Weatherly by keeping Frosty, Heidi, and Frank.  I give AMP Radio 4 months before they switch to smooth jazz, or hell I wouldn’t mind another Reggatone station like 96.3 (Latino and proud!).  Young twittering, mall shopping, Ne-Yo fans join me in boycotting this new format! (highly doubt it)

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