I have to get something off my chest.  It’s been bothering me for the past few months and I’ve been meaning to write about it, but hadn’t made the time.  Better now than never.  So here it goes…

LMFAO (the band) please stop making alternate versions to your song “I’m in Miami Trick.”

I don’t know if you guys know LMFAO, but they have this super annoying song that’s played a billion times on the radio called “I’m in Miami Bitch” or the more radio appropriate version “I’m in Miami Trick.”  I’ve embedded the song and video below for your listening “enjoyment.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

To be honest I kinda liked the song the first time they played it, but in typical commercialized brainwashing fashion they kept playing it until my ears bled.  That was already painful enough, but nothing out of the ordinary, however things got worse.  One day while listening to the radio I hear…

blah blah blah … I’m in LA trick!

At first I thought I was listening to a different song because I could have sworn they normally say “I’m in Miami Trick.” But the DJ said it was LMFAO.   Fair enough so there’s 2 different versions of this song. A few weeks later I was driving around San Francisco and heard this on the radio…

blah blah blah…I’m in The Bay trick!

WTF?  There 3 versions of this song now?  The worst part is that’s it’s not even brand new lyrics talking about “the Bay” or whatever city they are singing about.  It’s just them replacing one city name with another city name and then adding “trick” after it.   Either way my hatred for the song and the band is steadily increasing (not yet at Twitter hate levels).

A few weeks later my girlfriend comes back from Denver, Colorado, and says “you’ll never guess what I heard in Denver…”   Please don’t tell me–

blah blah blah…I’m in Denver trick!

That’s right, Denver now has it’s own LMFAO “Trick” song.  This was the straw that broke my back.  Just how much more pandering to the audience and selling out can LMFAO do?  Just how many versions of their crappy song “I’m in Miami Trick” are there?  Wikipedia provided me the answers.

There are at least 59 versions of “I’m in [FILL IN THE BLANK WITH WHATEVER] Trick!”

Yes 59 versions of their song.  I won’t list them all here, but that’s a lot of “tricks.”  Among the more notable “Tricks” include:

• “I’m in New Bedford Trick” (New Bedford, MA, I had to look that up)
• “I’m in the Burgh Trick” (Pittsburgh)
• “I’m in Fort Wayne Trick” (Fort Wayne, IN)
• “I’m in Winnipeg Trick” (Winnipeg, Canada)
• “I’m in the IE Trick” (I thought Internet Explorer, but Inland Empire CA)
• “I’m in Canada Trick” (for stations in rural Canada)

Before I thought the formula for a LMFAO song was [Any American City] + Trick.  However, from the list of 59 versions apparently you can just choose any geographic location.  It can be a city anywhere in the world, a region, a country, etc…  What is somewhat amusing is how LMFAO got lazy with Canada.  Rather than go through and “create” alternate versions for many of the cities in Canada (besides the major ones) they just decided to do a blanket Canadian version “I’m in Canada Trick.”  Geez, LMFAO, if you are going to do something do it all the way!

Why stop at geographic locations?  Why not take your hit making formula and just  incorporate any nouns that make somewhat sense?  This way you can target and market your talent to those people…  Here are some suggestions to help you increase your sales revenue:

• “I’m in Foreclosure Trick!”
• “I’m without Insurance Trick!”
• “I’m in Pre-School Trick”
• “I’m in Detention Trick”
• “I’m in Jail Trick”
• “I’m in Denial Trick”
• “I’m in My Car Trick”

I can’t stop myself from coming up with more LMFAO hits.  I should be a song writer.

Anyway, there has to be some record in the Guinness Book of World Records for most versions of a crappy song done by the same artist.  At 59 versions LMFAO would definitely be the front runner.  Not even Petey Pablo and his song “Raise Up” did he decide to sell out and do separate versions for each major city instead he just did:

a remix called “Raise Up [All Cities remix]” which is similar to the original, starting off with North Carolina, except that he shouts out other cities, states or regions in this order: South Carolina, Atlanta, Virginia, New York City, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., Maryland, Houston, Dallas, New Orleans, St. Louis, Miami, Los Angeles, Chicago, Las Vegas and San Francisco Bay Area.

Luckily not every music artist goes to the darkside like LMFAO and creates a cookie cutter song.  I mean can you imagine if John Denver had gone to LMFAO for guidance on his song “Take Me Home, Country Roads”?  The chorus might have been:

“Take me home, country roads, to the place I belong…East Calcutta, Mountain Mama…”

So I make my final plea LMFAO…please stop…please!!

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